Do You Eat Everything On Your Plate?

#1 They Did Their Best With The Information Available

Do I eat everything on my plate? If I ever want to get up from the table and go play, i certainly do!

Am I now overweight? Yes.

Of course, my tiny little parents could hardly have foreseen that their only daughter would be so very different from them in regard to body type.

Do I blame them?

I admit that it was not until adulthood that I learned to notice when my stomach is full. And I might be able to attribute that oversight to the "eat everything on your plate" statute. But to be fair, I might just as easily attribute that omission to the fact that I really enjoy eating - and my weight to lots of other emotional and physical factors that have nothing to do with my parents.

What can a parent do but train their children to do what they believe is right?

I would guess that most of my peers would consider the way I was raised, excessively strict. But my parents loved me, and I've always known that. And if they had been able to see the future, they would likely have encouraged some dietary snobbery. But they did their best with the information available, and I am very thankful for the way they raised me.

Submitted by Beth Rogers. Visit her blog - Veritable Observations.

#2 Daddy Was Always Too Busy With Church

Dad and Mom were married in 1950. He shipped off to Korea within 5 weeks. Not a long honeymoon for a young man and his 16 year old bride. He came home 2 years later. He attended a church service and was saved.

His faith was intense. That's how Daddy was...passionate. He loved to the extreme. His passion was Jesus Christ. He joined a small Baptist church and became a Sunday School teacher. Then a deacon. Then the treasurer. Tuesday and Thursday nights were spent in "visitation"...going door-to-door inviting folks to church. On the first Monday of every month was the "Men's meeting." Wednesdays we had church. Sunday morning he taught Sunday school. Sunday night we were in training union. Saturdays he spent cleaning up the church grounds and getting the building ready for Sunday morning.

Besides this...he had 3 jobs. Daddy died at a young age...in his early 50's. I got to spend a lot of time with him, since I'm older. I don't resent the time Daddy spent at the church ...however my younger siblings have suggested they missed out on spending time with Dad. In fact, my youngest brother is hesitant to devote so much time to the church (same church we grew up in) because he remembers how he wanted to be with Daddy, but Daddy was always too busy with church.

Submitted by Toni Donaldson

#3 Damn The Consequences, This Is Boring As Hell...

We all rebel at some point from the excessive obsessions of our parents. For instance, my personal growth has been very strongly molded by my trying to live up to and then my rebelling from mother's obsession with "success" (not so much in general as her very specific concept of the word). And, her obsession actually came from her parents' alcoholism and failures ( their generational excess). My mother grew up on the North side of Houston on Little York Street. For those of you not familiar with the area, I'll sum it up by just saying it was pretty rough and pretty "blue collar." Granted, she grew up in a nicer part of it, but her parents were alcoholics, so being from the nicer side of the tracks didn't matter much in terms of developing self-worth. My mother carried the shame of that all of her life (not just inside, but on the outside in the form of pronounced burn scars from the time my grandmother accidentally set the house on fire in a drunken stupor). This created in my mother a kind of intense determination that she would become "white collar," make a lot of money, send her kids to prep school (didn't happen, by the way; I wouldn't go), send her kids to the best colleges, have a beautiful large house in the suburbs, and just generally become one of the class of people who usually did those things. To her, those things were tangible proof of not having succumbed to the same pitfalls of her parents.

So, when I turned out to be a straight-A student early on in school, I think my mother's expectations of me were set in motion. I was to be perfect. I was to be everything my mother never had the chance to be... I spent a lot of time attaining my mother's dreams. Eight years to be exact. I got into one of the top 20 universities in the nation, I moved to New York City, I got into law school, I passed the bar exam on my first try... I became very impressive on paper and in conversation. Somewhere along the way, though, I started thinking, "Did I really choose this?" Until I graduated from law school, all of my "next steps" were simply implied (e.g., go to college, date business men, go to graduate school, etc.). So why did I feel something was missing on the cusp of having achieved all of this? I started thinking about how I always had an extremely negative reaction when I overheard my mother talking about my accomplishments; it always sounded like she was talking about herself. Or, to be more precise, an extension of herself. It felt like I was another item on a list of things that made her "fit" with a certain class of people. I think what I felt was lacking was the sense that all of those achievements were mine.

That's when the rebellion started. I looked at my job in finance and my corporate law classes, and said, "Damn the consequences, this is boring as hell." I looked at the guy I was dating and said, "Yes, he's very successful financially and nice enough, but I want something deeper, something more." I looked at my beautiful city, New York, and as much as I love it still to this day, I said, "I've got to leave you now; it's time for me to get back to the South and garden." Simply put, I shed my mother's concept of success, and I found my own.

I'm not angry at my mother anymore for her transfering what I consider a faulted obsession with "success" to me in my formative years. I can't imagine what she went through in her early life, and I can't say I wouldn't have thought the same things she did about how to achieve success. Plus, it got me where I am today. I've been all over the world, I'm a lawyer, etc... I got some serious ambition from her, and I'm thankful for that. However, I can't help but dream of an alternative reality where I'm somewhere in Africa digging for extinct hominids after having completed my Ph.D. in Biological Anthropology. Who knows? I'm young yet, and I might just do exactly that someday. For now, though, I have to admit, I'm pretty successful in my eyes. Meaning, I found the someone more I was looking for, I have a garden, my career focuses on criminal law and social issues (right up my alley), and most importantly, I'm happy. The most ironic part of this story is that now that I'm happy, so is my mother. She got most of what she wanted, and it turns out, one of the most important things she wanted was for me was to be happy and fulfilled.

So, in the end, despite the dysfunction that generational excesses can have, there are pros and cons. And, if one can recognize them when they're causing cons or they've led you to become too rigid in your path, they provide huge opportunities for growth in both of the generations involved.

Submitted by Amanda Rogers, Esq. Visit her blog - Seven Eighty One.

#4 An Excess of Commitment Can Show Passion

I remember a few years ago, I was visiting a friend of mine out in Austin, TX and she suggested that we have lunch at a restaurant called "The Hula Hut." I had never been there and I always enjoy new dinning experiences, so naturally I was on board for the adventure. After quite a few minutes of deliberation over what would become my meal of choice, I settled on the shrimp quesadillas. I sat at the table with high expectations for the deliciousness of my food, mainly because I was really hungry. When the food finally arrived I sat in awe - with no attention paid to the enormous size of my entree - and prepared myself for feasting. As I made my way through each pre-cut section of my meal I indulged myself in how every piece was more satisfying than the one before, giving no attention to how full my stomach had become. Near the end I felt that I may have reached my capacity.

However there was one piece left. It was a showdown and I knew it would be a tough. I strongly contemplated my situation including listening to the advise of my friend. She said to me, "Don't do it Damian. You will have a stomach ache. Save it for later as a snack." Save it for later? She was crazy. Everyone knows food is never as good the second time around, especially seafood. Despite my respect for my friend's opinion, I went for it; I ate the last piece. In the end, when we left, we had to lay the passenger seat down because I was unable to sit upright.

I was never really pushed into one particular direction by my parents. I was given my choices. I do believe though that persistence of a lifestyle without comparison can lead to rejection. A person needs to experience everything on their plate within their own terms, learn as we go. While I can go on and on about parental influence, I would like to discuss the negativity of personal indulgence.

A Pastor can be a strong leader and offer guidance to those who are new, lost in life, or just looking for answers about fulfilling a Christian life that is pleasing to Jesus Christ. However, too many times I have seen fellow Christians rely to heavily on the words of their pastor instead of the words that God has for them. While God has planned a relationship for each individual, I also believe that we each have our own interpretation of the Bible and what it means to us. Christians who indulge in the words of their pastor alone rely solely on another person's interpretation of a relationship with God. In the book of Jeremiah, God professes that He "has a plan for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm." Though it is our responsibility to do our own work, ask the questions, and discover for ourselves what it means to be a Christian.

On the other end, too much of something can be positive. In some cases, an excess of commitment can show passion. Passion can drive life, I know in some areas it has driven mine. I think though that it is important that we pursue passion without a bigoted attitude. Just as people go, not one opinion on a general subject is greater than another. We find this with the "Six Perspectives" blog, the approach and acceptance of various ideas instead of conceding to just one.

Share your passion, don't force it. Respect the anticipations and expectations of those around you. One thing that has really influenced my Christian life is that I began to ask my own questions and after awhile it became less of a routine and more of a passion.

Submitted by Damian Trudell, Visit his blog - "My Thoughts"

#5 You Boys Need To Mow The Yard Today

I bet I’m not the only person who had to mow the yard when I got old enough to do so. At first it was fun pushing the mower around the yard, but after a while I dreaded hearing “You boys need to mow the yard today.” Dad would utter those words twice a week. I’m not kidding. Wednesday and Sunday were yard days. The grass had barely recovered from the last mowing. My brother and I would always try to weasel out of at least one of the mowings. Maybe that’s why I dread mowing the lawn and I look forward to the day when our son is old enough to mow.

Submitted by Neal Harkner. Visit his Facebook Profile.

#6 Thanks To My Parents...No Really, Thanks.

There is a balance that we naturally and unknowingly establish between nature and nurture. (Yes, the “Nature vs. Nurture” argument...) Regardless of the side that wins in the end, I think we would all agree that environment and parental re-enforcement at least play a part in “Why we do what we do?”

My parents give. They give ‘till it hurts. They give time, money, support – anything they can – to the causes in which they believe.

To be extreme...when I was growing up, I only knew giving. I was taught to give at church and to keep my commitments. In college, I would regularly give away money to other people when they asked – if I had it to give. A couple of years ago, I gave my best jacket ($$$) to a homeless person because he was really cold (the jacket was a gift from my mother-in-law...a long story). I even gave away my car to a young woman who needed it (I believe she had a young child). I share these stories not because I’m entirely proud of them, but because I think I was partially in the wrong by sacrificing what I needed in order to fulfill someone else’s need.

But giving is certainly a positive behavior, right?

It was only after marrying my wife that I realized my penchant for giving was not entirely positive. She and I have discussed – at length – what we need, financially, to support our family and future. Previously following my giving instincts, though, would’ve seriously jeopardized our financial stability. I've now realized that in learning to “give ‘till it hurts”, I never really learned to value the importance of saving or the value of planning for my future. Don’t get me wrong; these things were definitely valued by my family – but not as highly as giving to those in need.

I’m learning a new balance between giving and everything else – but I’ll always be a “giver” at heart, thanks to my parents...No really, thanks.

Submitted by Jason L. Buchanan. Visit his Facebook Profile.